Checking In With Hipster Dreamboat Scott Reitz

It's been too long since we last checked in with new Dallas Observer food critic and local hipster dreamboat Scott Reitz. We figured we'd give him a few weeks to settle in and see if our original appraisal stands: is the hipster dreamboat as hipsterly dreamboatish as we originally thought? Survey says: yes.

Our methodology is highly scientific. Hipster dreamboats must express interest in most, if not all, of the following: nostalgia, fringe hobbies, music snobbery, generally vague disdain for, you know, something. Scott Reitz impresses with all of these, and indeed, even breaks down the nostalgia category into two separate kinds of nostalgia: amused and maudlin.

First up: amused nostalgia. Hipster dreamboats should find old stuff both charming and instructive. Reitz does both when he digs up this 1988 Observer story about food trucks. He writes: "And who knew that food trucks were popular more than 20 years ago? Not the taco and burrito trucks that have remained steadfast since perhaps the beginning of time, but real-deal food trucks, toting fried chicken and sandwiches and other catered fare."

Maudlin nostalgia. Reitz is a sensitive hipster dreamboat. " ... I thought about my own last meals in New York, saying goodbye someone I still miss dearly. It drove home that fact that a "meal" is so much more than the sum of the ingredients on the plate." Hipster dreamboats can only be earnest about a few things--irony being their preferred currency--and Reitz chooses wisely.

Fringe hobbies: Scott Reitz loves football, the kind of football where the ball is mainly kicked, rather than thrown. Soccer! And while his is a lonely love, the hipster dreamboat pursues it nonetheless: "I've tried to recruit friends. It's been a hard sell. You have to get up early and, inevitably, when you finally convince someone to join you, the game languishes in a nap-worthy nil-nil draw."

Music snobbery: it's not that Pandora sucks, it's just that Reitz predominantly approves of its use when he can't be bothered to flip his own records at home. (Keyword: records!) Ahemm: "Restaurant managers and owners plagued by empty tables might do well to spend a little more time looking at their tunes. A cool jukebox makes the Windmill Lounge. The Black Friar, like the Libertine, fills its space with music that matches the people who fill its stools. More Dallas restaurants should ditch Pandora and do the same."

Generally vague disdain for, you know, something: Reitz had so much faith in Dallas sandwiches until we demonstrated our inability to make a decent bread roll. He writes, "I found lots of great cold cuts, and shredded lettuce is obviously an easy find. But we've gotta have a chat about bread in this town." And look, don't try to quibble with Reitz, or blame the water: "The bread in Dallas is the way it is because of how Dallas bakers bake it." Ouch.

· All Scott Reitz Coverage on Eater Dallas [-EDFW-]

If we'd known Reitz loved soccer, we'd have put the Uptown Londoner on our Hipster Dreamboat map. [Photo: Londoner/Facebook]