The cooking on last night's Top Chef: Seattle was, according to the judges, pretty atrocious. Somehow Spoon chef John Tesar and FT33 pastry wizard Joshua Valentine ended up working as a pair for the entire episode, which seemed almost too good to be true given their shouty name-calling on the last episode. They worked shockingly well together on the quickfire, though, and almost won with a breakfast taco on a stick (huh?), but both kept their mouths shut when it came to the main challenge to avoid rocking the proverbial boat, resulting in a truffled pork and grits dish that the judges pronounced to "suck".
Judge Gail Simmons summed it up nicely: ""I think that what happened between Josh and John is that they both completely compromised in order to tolerate each other today and because of it they lost sight of any skill that they both had." They narrowly escaped elimination. PHEW! Lesson learned, guys: Continue to be total assholes to each other so you can both cook better food and keep viewers from falling asleep. (Meanwhile, Tesar continues to fan the flames via Twitter by posting pictures of a ginger-haired Yosemite Sam with comments like "I look like who from Top Chef season 10".)
Dallas chefs John Tesar and Joshua Valentine. [Photo credit: Bravo/TVgasm]