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The Five (Unintentionally) Funniest Parts of the Bobby Flay Dallas Casting Announcement

Bobby Flay is coming for Dallas.

That sounds scarier than it really is — Flay is casting teams of two for Food Network's new series America's Best Home Cook.

More exciting than that is looking at the online materials (some of which Mike Hiller posted earlier) regarding the casting. There's just always something oddly humorous about casting calls. The blend of desperation and over-the-top enthusiasm is almost palpable. Thus, the Best Unintentionally Funny Parts of Bobby Flay's Casting Info:

— "Is your house always filled with guests who are craving your amazing meals?" Unfortunate translation/mental image: There's some poor couple somewhere finding it an impossible chore to empty their house of guests dinner addicts writhing around jonesing for the next feed. ABHC wants that couple.

— "Tell us why you are the best home cooks, please provide photos of your food" Unfortunate translation/mental image: Go ahead and say why you're the best, but remember there's no possible way your food can be eaten as a panel of interns all sit around a messy desk sorting through emails. It's about styling at this point. Oh, and don't forget that photo of you and your partner (again with the styling).

— "Tell us about the best parties you've thrown" Unfortunate translation: If you have a tiny house in which you can't fit more than two additional people and thus could never have hosted an amazing party, you're either shit out of luck or you better get on inventing those glowing memories now. Oh, and make sure all your friends will tell the same story — it's in the details, people.

— Submission requirement: "Contact information and current location" Unfortunate translation/mental image: Apparently, Bobby Flay will be tracking your whereabouts. KEEP HIM POSTED. (Note: "Current location" could've probably been written as "current address/residence" and come across a lot less creepy.)

— Um, the photo of Bobby Flay on the actual site Unfortunate translation: No one at Food Network (or its affiliated casting company) thought it would be a good idea to just put the original photo on the official site? Sure, it's been edited for the flyer, but that's where it should have stayed.

· Casting Call: Bobby Flay Looking for Dallas Duo for New Cooking Show [EscapeHatchDallas]
· Bobby's Best Home Cook Casting [Official]

[Photo: Official via EscapeHatchDallas]