Somebody Please Dress Up Like Matt McCallister For Halloween

Halloween has arrived, and the procrastinators among us (cough) probably still need a costume for all the weekend festivities. Clearly there's no sense in dropping major bucks on an elaborate creation that will probably just get trashed anyway, so thankfully, City of Ate has some last-minute suggestions on how to dress up like your favorite local celebrity chef, including five-star chef Matt McCallister of FT33:

The first step of a McCallister costume is going to be acquiring some of those pantyhose-like tattoo sleeves at Party City. Buy two. Then find some plating tweezers (the ones that you use on your ingrown hairs will probably do) and walk around the party neatly rearranging your friends' poorly plated appetizers. Take a baseball cap, stomp it around in mud until it looks perfectly beat to shit. Then, fill up an artisanal leather pouch with random weeds foraged from your garden and sling it around your waist. Don't forget to give very few fucks.

The question is, will anyone dress up as newly-revealed restaurant critic Leslie Brenner? A Brenner/Tesar duo sounds like a one-way ticket to a costume contest victory.