Jay Jerrier's pillar of Neapolitan pizza Cane Rosso is famous locally for (amongst other things) refusing to serve its VPN-certified pies with a side of ranch dressing, but thanks to everyone's favorite time-wasting site Reddit, folks all over the country are now getting the memo.
Earlier today, Reddit user Brostash uploaded a photo to r/food of the display case on Cane Rosso's dining room wall that enshrines a bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing alongside a sign that prices a side of the condiment at a cool $1,000. The post has inspired more than 400 comments thus far since it went up just over three hours ago, and Redditors seem to be split between understanding Jerrier's point of view and calling for his head.
Just in case you don't have time to wade through all 400-plus comments, we've rounded up the best ones (also, it's probably worth pointing out that the word "arrogant" appears no less than 10 times in the thread):
User more_exercise thinks Jerrier's approach makes perfect sense: "If you stop stocking ranch, people will complain about you not having ranch. What you need to do is have some sort of obvious display that you don't serve ranch. Something like what this restaurant owner did."
User ToolFO presents an artful analogy: "... Imagine you are a famous painter, being commissioned by someone to create a piece for them. You put your heart and soul into that painting ... Then upon turning it over to the person who commissioned it, he ... proceeds to smear finger-paint over the entire thing before gladly stating "There, much better! here's your money". Even though you still got paid for it and it belongs to them, wouldn't you be completely enraged that someone took your masterpiece, something you held dear in your heart and mutilated it because it was not to their liking?"
Meanwhile, user easygenius thinks it's all pretty silly: "For somebody who is so haughty about their fine cuisine, I've always found it funny he chose to have employees wear shirts that say PILF ... I wish Mark Cuban would walk in there, drop a grand on the table, dump that entire bottle of ranch on a pizza, and walk out."
And user FatStig sees it as a prime opportunity for a moneymaking venture: "Sounds like an amazing opportunity for an enterprising individual. Sell ranch just off the property at $3.00 per 2 oz cup."
whiskey4breakfast has a similarly entrepreneurial spirit: "Bring your own bottle, sell for $500 a bottle. Profit?"
User ethan_kahn attempts to coin a new nickname for ranch: "Redneck butter."
User ___you_are_loved___ comes out of left field with this comment: "Putting ranch on pizza pretty much means you're eating crunchy/chewy ranch dressing. It drowns out the other flavor. It's almost as disgusting as the people who put a load of butter on their pizza." [Editor's note: If you have witnessed anyone putting butter on their pizza, please alert us to this atrocity via the tipline.]
Killgore_Trout thinks the ranch haters are a bunch of pizza fascists: "I thought our society was trying to evolve past telling people how to live their lives. So you're telling me people had the right to their own sexual, religious, and ideological preferences but they don't have the right to their own food preferences?"
Of course, it's worth noting that Jerrier does indeed serve ranch dressing at his other pizzeria, the New York-style Zoli's — but it's housemade and a far cry from the bottled Hidden Valley variety.
[Photo: Cane Rosso/Facebook]