Recently opened Oak Cliff cidery Bishop Cider Co. is looking to make some crucial hires, and their help wanted ad posted last night to the company Facebook page is simply awesome. If you're passionate about cider, willing to be paid in not-exactly-legal tender, and employ some basic reasoning skills, Bishop Cider Co. might just be the workplace for you:
We need two cider-loving, mad scientist-types that are anal about sanitization. Preference given to people with OCD tendencies.
The two arbitrary titles can be found below along with equally as unimportant descriptions:
Master Ciderist - the individual that accepts this position will be the Wonka of the cidery from ideation to kegging. The Master Ciderist will be responsible for micromanaging the Apprentice. Despite the name, no whips will be needed to fulfill the requirements of this position. Experience at a brewery or winery is a must. The right person would have caught the pun in that last sentence.
Apprentice Ciderist - This title may change to 'Apprentice to the Ciderist' depending on how the role develops.
Super strength and/or the ability to hulk, would be helpful in either role or life in general...
Applicants must live close to OC. If you think that stands for Orange County, I hear North Park is hiring.
Duties may also include drinking, lugging kegs around town, bar tending, drinking, and attending events where you will need to consume free alcohol. (This is probably the place for you if, in your head, you said "haha... he said DUTY")
Compensation will be in US Dollars and Schrute Bucks. One position gets more dollar bills than the other. If you can't figure out which one, please send your resume to firstname.lastname@example.org, for the rest of you, resumes can be sent to Joel@bishopcider.com.
The cidery does not make any mention of hourly pay rates, but as one Schrute Buck is historically worth approximately 1/100th of a cent, they better be offering a whole lot of that free alcohol.