The Texas Rangers' opening day is just three weeks away, which means it's time to start thinking about all the absurd things you can shove in your face while catching a game this season. ESPN reports that this year Globe Life Park in Arlington will debut a new "Just Bacon" concessions stand that will specialize in porcine creations including bacon cotton candy (don't get too excited — it appears to come prepackaged rather than being made fresh), sunflower seeds coated in bacon salt, bacon lollipops, bacon quesadillas, and candied bacon.
Guide Live's Sarah Blaskovich says there will also be bacon beer from Oregon's Rogue Ales — the same brewery that brought you sriracha stout and chocolate-peanut-butter banana ale.
Also new this year is a "State Fare" stand serving foods inspired by deep-frying mecca the State Fair of Texas. According to ESPN, the highlight here will be the "Fried S'mOreos," which are "marshmallows breaded in graham cracker crust that is deep fried, mixed with two deep-fried Oreos on a skewer and drizzled with chocolate sauce and Cool Whip." (Alternate name: diabetes kabobs?)
Other items served at the State Fare concessions stand will include chicken-fried corn on the cob, funnel cake fries, fried brisket mac-and-cheese balls, fried pickles, and funnel cake fries.
Globe Life Park might just be the best place in DFW to thumb your nose at all concepts of sound nutrition (when the State Fair is in its off-season, that is). Last year the stadium introduced "poutine nachos," two-foot long tacos, and a bacon waffle on a stick; other popular items include the 24-inch Korean beef sandwich known as the Choomongous and the Boomstick, a two-foot hot dog.