Burguesa Burger's La Monumental Can Smell Your Fear

When you order La Monumental — Burguesa Burger's ridiculous, dangerous, towering double cheeseburger complete with not only lettuce, tomato, and onion but also avocado, refried beans, a crispy tostada, ham, and a mysterious "special creamy sauce" — you should also request spicy fries and a beer, a Victoria. The cashier will open the beer and slide it your way. "Ice cold," he'll say. He won't be wrong.

A few bites into La Monumental you'll think, am I dying? But you aren't dying, no. Your heart is just, for a moment, weighing its options. After that passes you'll also think, this thing would be exceedingly good after, or with, many more ice-cold Victorias. In that sense eating La Monumental will remind you of a universal food experience: eating at Whataburger. While sober, it is good enough to barely avoid being a huge mistake. But while drunk, it is a huge and glorious mistake, one that is inherently, deeply, primally satisfying. It will also cost you just $8.75 with fries and a drink, thereby making it most likely one of the cheapest (and tastiest) mistakes of your life.