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John's Cafe: Known for awesome gyro omelettes, not sexy ambience.
John's Cafe: Known for awesome gyro omelettes, not sexy ambience.
Photo: Margo Sivin/EDFW

12 of Dallas' Least Romantic Restaurants & Bars

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John's Cafe: Known for awesome gyro omelettes, not sexy ambience.
| Photo: Margo Sivin/EDFW

Valentine's Day fast approaches, and as usual the local food blogosphere is crammed with lists of the most romantic restaurants to take your sweetie and drop major coin on a prix fixe dinner that will almost certainly end with molten chocolate cake. (Yawn.)

Whether you just got dumped, need to break up with someone or simply wish to avoid all the lovey-dovey crap that comes along with this most manufactured of holidays, you may find this map of 12 totally non-romantic Dallas restaurants and bars comes in handy when Black Friday rolls around.

What's the least romantic restaurant you can think of? Feel free to chime in via the comments.


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Note: Restaurants on this map are listed geographically.

The Purple Cow

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Nothing like a well-lit restaurant full of small children -- so many children -- chowing down on French fries and chicken strips to get you in the mood. [Photo: Toni W./Foursquare]

Twin Peaks

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This week is "Lingerie Week" at Twin Peaks, which means the waitresses will be walking around looking like they stepped out of a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog. Tres romantique! [Photo: Twin Peaks Mockingbird/Facebook]

Pluckers Wing Bar

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There's certainly nothing romantic about eating chicken wings with your hands, and Pluckers is usually packed with a beer-swilling college crowd which makes it even less so. Bonus: Plenty of TVs to gaze into makes avoiding eye contact easy. [Photo: Kese K./Foursquare]

Fuel City

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Nothing like a little late-night gas station ambience to set the mood on Valentine's Day. Plus it's really hard to look cute while inhaling a drippy picadillo burrito.

Mia's Tex-Mex

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Ain't nothing romantic about Tex-Mex, what with all those plates loaded down with refried beans and rice -- plus, the decor in here is wacky and sear-your-eyeballs bright. (Then again, many people have fallen in love with the brisket tacos here, so your mileage may vary?) [Photo: Bill C./Foursquare]

Pecan Lodge

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Pecan Lodge is known for amazing barbecue, but romantic it is not -- hell, it's not even open when it's dark outside. (On the other hand, maybe you can make a love connection with a fellow brisket-lover while waiting in the extremely long line?)

Aw Shucks

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Any place where the staff shouts your name out when your order's ready is obviously not known for its romantic ambience. (Of course, oysters are said to be an aphrodisiac -- probably not when they're deep-fried and smothered in tartar sauce, though.) [Photo: Ben S./Foursquare]

Club Schmitz

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If the nicotine-stained walls at this divey favorite aren't enough to kill any lovey-dovey feelings, a burger, onion rings and a Miller High Life should do the trick. (Bonus: shuffleboard, the favorite game of lovers everywhere).

Hopdoddy Burger Bar

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It's loud, there's a good chance you'll have to wait in line, and the delicious truffle fries will ensure no one wants to kiss you afterward. Excellent. Bonus points for the rolls of paper towels on each table.

John's Cafe

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If you're looking to break up with someone on Valentine's Day, John's seems like a good place to do it over breakfast. The regulars will probably be too absorbed in their morning papers to notice anyone who might be crying into their gyro omelette.

Babe's Chicken Dinner House

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Stuffing yourself silly with all-you-can-eat fried chicken and mashed potatoes is a good way to guarantee your date will slip into a food coma rather than "something a little more comfortable." (Also, the Hokey Pokey is pretty much the least sexy dance ever invented.)

Szechwan Pavillion

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Because nothing says "I'm completely indifferent toward you" like taking a date to a Chinese buffet where they can load up on sesame chicken and crab rangoon.

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The Purple Cow

Nothing like a well-lit restaurant full of small children -- so many children -- chowing down on French fries and chicken strips to get you in the mood. [Photo: Toni W./Foursquare]

Twin Peaks

This week is "Lingerie Week" at Twin Peaks, which means the waitresses will be walking around looking like they stepped out of a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog. Tres romantique! [Photo: Twin Peaks Mockingbird/Facebook]

Pluckers Wing Bar

There's certainly nothing romantic about eating chicken wings with your hands, and Pluckers is usually packed with a beer-swilling college crowd which makes it even less so. Bonus: Plenty of TVs to gaze into makes avoiding eye contact easy. [Photo: Kese K./Foursquare]

Fuel City

Nothing like a little late-night gas station ambience to set the mood on Valentine's Day. Plus it's really hard to look cute while inhaling a drippy picadillo burrito.

Mia's Tex-Mex

Ain't nothing romantic about Tex-Mex, what with all those plates loaded down with refried beans and rice -- plus, the decor in here is wacky and sear-your-eyeballs bright. (Then again, many people have fallen in love with the brisket tacos here, so your mileage may vary?) [Photo: Bill C./Foursquare]

Pecan Lodge

Pecan Lodge is known for amazing barbecue, but romantic it is not -- hell, it's not even open when it's dark outside. (On the other hand, maybe you can make a love connection with a fellow brisket-lover while waiting in the extremely long line?)

Aw Shucks

Any place where the staff shouts your name out when your order's ready is obviously not known for its romantic ambience. (Of course, oysters are said to be an aphrodisiac -- probably not when they're deep-fried and smothered in tartar sauce, though.) [Photo: Ben S./Foursquare]

Club Schmitz

If the nicotine-stained walls at this divey favorite aren't enough to kill any lovey-dovey feelings, a burger, onion rings and a Miller High Life should do the trick. (Bonus: shuffleboard, the favorite game of lovers everywhere).

Hopdoddy Burger Bar

It's loud, there's a good chance you'll have to wait in line, and the delicious truffle fries will ensure no one wants to kiss you afterward. Excellent. Bonus points for the rolls of paper towels on each table.

John's Cafe

If you're looking to break up with someone on Valentine's Day, John's seems like a good place to do it over breakfast. The regulars will probably be too absorbed in their morning papers to notice anyone who might be crying into their gyro omelette.

Babe's Chicken Dinner House

Stuffing yourself silly with all-you-can-eat fried chicken and mashed potatoes is a good way to guarantee your date will slip into a food coma rather than "something a little more comfortable." (Also, the Hokey Pokey is pretty much the least sexy dance ever invented.)

Szechwan Pavillion

Because nothing says "I'm completely indifferent toward you" like taking a date to a Chinese buffet where they can load up on sesame chicken and crab rangoon.

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